urrgh.
2nd post today.
--
(this is so unspiritual compared to my first post by oh whatever cause I feel super pissed off by this fact therefore I want to post about it or I dont know where to throw this feeling to).
okay maybe because I'm the outsider that don't know a single thing therefore if that's the case and you read this just ignore this post if you really don't have the heart to realise this is for you you and you and you you and you.
nevermind, my own imagination anyway.
perhaps I'll delete this post when I find it no longer true.
don't understand how people can disregard people that have put in so much into a friendship.
I really don't understand why.
maybe this is the very fact existing in this real world right now.
you trust anyone else but the person that trusted you most.
sometimes less close friends are better than having you around.
because no matter how close I feel to you, I'm not your close friend anyway.
I'm just another person that crossed paths with you that stick to you like super glue and make you feel irritated and make you feel uncomfortable that make you hate me that make you think you cannot tell secrets to that you use to share disgusting secrets about your extremely bad emotions but not those happy ones that you wish would never spread that you always think will be there for you to get angry over that you think you can act emo in front of to gain pity that can stand there and hear you rant rant rant as if it'll never end that can tell you everything about her but hear nothing from you.
sometimes isn't this the exact case?
I'm so pissed over the fact that this is the exact thing I'm feeling now.
I'm not suppose to feel pissed when this friend of mine is supposed to be a close one.
don't even know whats my place in your heart.
I feel like another random person that you can't be bothered with even if I die.
I know this is a sin to be jealous over another person that's close to you.?
I feel totally shitty over the fact I'm sinning for such a stupid reason.
how foolish of me to get jealous over small things.
what girly genes I have. -.-
why not anything else but this gene. how retarded.
you make me feel like a hypocrite as I type this cause this is how I used to treat some of my friends in primary school.
I don't know how I was actually like you.
you're like a mirror.
and tell you what if you read this and realise I'm talking about you you better change this attitude cause it really hurts people around you.
no, I'm not asking you to give up on your dear friend right over there that you love 10 times more than anyone else that has been equally good to you that trusted you but didn't have your trust.
whatever. I shall aspire to never be like you.
Labels: o.o
