im excess;
but im glad through all these God my best friend's with me.
--

i walked passed the notice board.
it was after training so i couldnt see clearly.
all i saw was a photo i remember i took with all the people that went for PROJECT LIFE2008.

i smiled.

the next day, having a closer look at it,
i realised that my face was overlapped with another photo.
because so luckily, i was standing at the very very side of the picture.
and i wasnt a member anymore.
so i was covered, i thought.

i dont know what exact feeling came to me.
i felt angry, i felt very very sad.

why is it that amanda's sister, hazel,
wasnt overlapped by another photo even when she's not in RVIC?
just to ponder over.

if i wasnt recognised as a member of interact, fine.
what im angry over is the fact that i wasnt even recognised to have went for PROJECT LIFE.

--

this reminds me of last year,
mrs khoo's farewell party.

she gave us all our presents for the sec1s last year.
either was a crown or a car.
the very very picture she used was the pesta sukan picture.

i could understand why she used that.
it was the first time the team won a medal, anyway.
but nevertheless, it wasnt a complete picture right?
unless i can easily be excluded, then fine.
i accept the fact im excess in the team anyway.

--

and talking about extra reminds me of barney.

charmaine and peilynn are together.
angeline and huiling are together.
and im alone.
no, im not complaining about my loneliness, i really dont mind.
whenever i think im extra i'll think positively by putting myself as the "glue" for them.
because without me, they'll be two pairs, thats all.

although it isnt the case, please let me continue with this self-deceival.
it really is a source of motivation when im down.

and if we went on a cruise and the cruise banged into an iceberg and we took a lifeboat,
we realised the lifeboat could only carry 4 passangers.
i'll be the one thrown out into the ocean right?

fine, just to comfort myself,
all of them dont know how to swim, except me.
therefore i'll be thrown out for the sake of their survival.

and if we went on a spaceship and the spaceship was only left with enough oxygen for 4 people to survive,
i'll be the one thrown out into space right?

fine, just to comfort myself,
all of them have companions to live on with on earth, except me.
therefore i'll be thrown out for the sake of their companionship.

--

in every aspect i can think of, im seriously excess.
but come think of it, being excess is much luckier than being OUT OF THE WAY.

and guess what, ive met my 3rd angel on the bus just minutes ago.

Labels: angels, barney associates, excess, God, interact, netball, project LIFE