i was nv wntd anws .
since th moment i existed .
my parents wished i was a guy .
i turned out as a girl ,
to their disappointment .
at th age of 4 ,
i was diagnosed with night blindness .
frm thn on they had to pay ,
for my bills ,
evryyr .

thn i kindergarten ,
i had friends that betray .
who wld bother abt my feelings thn anw .

in pri sch ,
people viewed me as a proud girl
and i didnt even knw .
she casts glares at me whn i was p3 ,
i didnt knw why .
she didnt knw why either .
bt thts nt th point .
in p4 , left out .
in p5 , quarrelled thrice .
now ,
she probably finds me a pest .
yeah ,
i think i just shld stop being one
tht keeps pestering her on msn .
bleahs .

i joined them in p4 ,
she was quite close with me in p1 & p2.
bt now she's closer to her .
we took th same bus home .
i felt extra .
she guessed my deepest darkest secret .
thn i also told her .
thn they becm part of me .
bt yet , i still feel smthg isnt right .
they belonged tgt ,
they were heads and viceheads .
i wasnt even a prefect .
fine .

i was betrayed .
idk why .
idk who .
idk wht .
damn .

in sec sch ,
i started off as a wanderer .
i joined whoever i found .
netballers , sm random ppl .
oh whtevr .
idk how ppl view me ,
pathetic ?
i wasnt a ghost .
bt i was no btr .

i becm close to her .
i thought she was close to me .
i was so damn wrong .
i arent anyone to her .
im nt even at th top of her link list bck at her blog .
no exclaimation mark whtsoevr .
she gt close to thm .
fine , i was all alone again .

now im w/ th four of thm .
they are a pair , and they are a pair .
im trailing behind the pairs .
i wonder why i was acknowledged as part of thm .
cos i tied thm down w/ a secret of mine ?
idk .
i really dk .

Labels: emo, him/deepest darkest secret